Hazy Blur

First off, I'm not sure if this will make any sense.
I am so tired and have lost so much sleep over the past week and a half. Not because I stay up doing anything, but because I wake five or six every night, sometimes freaking out for a sec thinking i missed my alarm for work. The reason for this crazy sudden occurance...I'm not sure. The only thing I can think might be causing it is that I'm going to a different country in a week and half now. Though I don't feel like I'm scared or anything that doesn't mean I'm not. it could be one of those things I can hide, even from myself, without realizing it. Then when I'm asleep it hits me hard. I've has a couple dreams about the trip...not scary, just random.
As far as I'm concerned I'm ready to go! I'm ready tpo help people in need and show them the love of God. I'm ready to finally be the hands and feet of God. Am I trying to say that doesn't freak me out at all? No, of course. Doing something new is always going to be a bit frightening. I just feel like it's not something that would be causing me to lose sleep. The only way to really know though is to see how I sleep when I get back.
I am meant to go on this trip. I wouldn't have had multiple people in one week give money so that I could go if that weren't true. I wouldn't have had an amazing friend offer to pay for my plan ticket when I said that I was definitly going to go. My passport wouldn't have come in 1 week, when it should have taken at least 3. All these things have been major blessings to me and very humbling as well. I just know I am meant to be in the country for those people. I WANT to be there to help them. I can't just sit here and watch as they die because no one wants to give them the things they need for basic survival.