Now Is Not Forever

In the words of B.Reith:

Now is not forever
All that's seen will fade away
These wars will end
There is an antidote
To heal your broken pain
There is a lifeline that hides
Insides the maker of your frame
He gave His life
Hold you head up high
You will get by
You will get by

Hold your head high
You will get by

So, every time I turn around I find one more person that I miss; and each time I realize I miss someone new my heart breaks that much more. I just got one of my friends back into my life and now he's gone off to join the Navy. It's killing me not being able to talk to him at all. I got used to talking to him multiple times a week and seeing him just as much. I pray that he's doing well and that I will hear something from him soon. Waiting has never been one of my strong points and having to sit around and be patient untill I get a letter(or even a phone call) is not something I am comfortable with. *sigh*

I'm trying to trust God to take care of him, of course that's always much easier said than done. Stupid human habits!

Love Letter

My Love,
Your smile, your eyes, your hugs, your laugh; the way you shine in every way. These are the things I love about you. How you calm my crazy mind with one look, one hug, one word. I fell in love and didn't know until now. I have watched you grow into a wonderful, strong man of God. I pray that one day I can tell you these things. I see you strength and long to know it; to have that same light you have to love the way you love. I pray I get to stand by your side the rest of my life and watch as you continue to grow, everyday, in Christ.

I love you, now and always.

Healing

This might sting, it might hurt

But I learn from each tear that falls

All the pain I keep inside

will get better in time

I might stumble, I might fall

But I will get up in the end

I will brush this off and move along

This is not the end, He is there to lift me up.

Hunger to Serve

Haven't had anything to write about in a while. Now it feels like my thoughts are starting to get cramped and overcrowded inside my own head. There have been a lot of things happen since I last updated here, best of which is the meeting of a certain boy. Now, I'm not going to turn this into your typical boy-crazed teenage blog(mainly because I'm not a boy-crazed teenage girl) but, I just want to say I can't image that I could be lucky enough to have someone like him in my life. Okay that's all.

So last week was the second Proyecto America trip since I learned about the organization. This time they went to Paraguay to minister to the people there. I would have loved to have been there, but I completely understand why God kept me in the states for this one. There are a few medical issues with multiple family members that all kinda piled up last week. I am proud of all that did take time to go over and serve and happy that things went well...from what I understand at least. Hopefully I will have an opportunity to serve on the next trip and be part of something bigger than myself again, I can't believe how much of my heart still desires to be out in the world serving the lost and broken people.

Nothing is Impossible

Think about your dreams, goals, aspirations. What did you want to be as a child? A fireman, a doctor, a princess? Now think about why those dream may not have come true as you've grown up. Is it because you decided to be something different? Is it because you were told couldn't become what you dreamed? Why do we change our childhood dreams as we grow? Sometimes it's because we just decide to be something different; other times we are told that what we want isn't possible, but who's to tell us what we can or can't be.

The only person to ever have a say in what we are to become should be God. He is the master of the universe and knows exactly who we are supposed to be. Any time someone tells you you can't be something, why should we listen unless we know they are speaking from God. Everything he designed(which is absolutely everything btw) has a specific plan and purpose. If we are listening to him and follow where he wants us to go then we can be anything and do anything. Nothing is impossible through Him.

I take a step back and look at my life.

To try and see if there is a defined line.

Some point in time where I can see exactly when things changed

It feels like looking back on the life of a stranger

I don't seem to recognize my own past

The faith I have in You makes my heart sing

The doubt I have in me makes me wonder how I've made it

Lord I need You to carry me every step

I want to keep being reminded, in whatever way nesseccary, that You are there to help me and You do carry me through the difficulties in life.

"trust in the Lord with all hear; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths." - Prov 3:5-6

Sunlight

Sitting under the warm rays of light, feeling them heat my skin, I start to wonder how things were in times long ago. A time when life was much simpler and people didn't get bogged down or swept away in the busy everyday dealings of life. As I relax I fade into a time that seems like it never existed and bask in the glory of how everything in life is calm, even when there are more things to do in a day than hours to do them in.

I close my eyes and pictures start to fill my mind, women are walking down the street in magnificent dresses and hats, men are standing around talking business and looking very serious, though they aren't at all. Of course, the women know this and enjoy a joke or two among themselves about it. There are horses and buggies all around the town, some loaded for long trips others being unloaded. The items either being sold or taken into hotels for their owners. The locals here have always been open to visitors, welcoming them in as though they were members of the town all along. It's the exact kind of place you would want yourself to get lost in if ever that happened to you.

One of the buggies being unloaded was for a couple that had decided to move to town. It was one of those decisions that aren't planned, they just happen. So they packed up and moved, without having any place of their own to live before they got there. Untill they could find a place they would be staying in the towns hotel.